What to do in the event your wallet is stolen

If Paris was a person I would go up to her (she is that catty girl from high school didn't you know) and say 'you must have some serious personal problems' and walk away.  Paris has never liked me.  This trip Paris liked me even less.  My latched bag was no problem for the sneaky pickpocket that snagged my wallet.  Lesson learned,never keep your passport and cash in the same area and don't carry it on you when traveling lock it in your bag in the hotel (or hostel).  Flashback to Chicago as I am somewhat mawkishly ogling my passport looking back on my 3 last visas and international stamps thinking to myself how I want to fill this passport up in the 5 years it was valid.  Flashforward reaching into the vide of my purse in order to pay for metro tickets only to touch the soft leather bottom.  What passes through your mind?  First sheer panic, then you convince yourself that you haven't looked well enough.  You return to your hotel you search everything the obvious and the impossible and you search again and again and again.  Then more stress panic.  

For me this was 4pm the evening before my 7am train to London, requiring a passport.  Then with your blood pressure dropping you decide you must call to cancel your credit cards (French and American).  That done you scour the Internet for what to do next. Right go to the police for a police report.  Find the police station, walk there, am greeted by automatic rifle hoisting bullet proof vest wearing officers outside the barracaded station.  Am allowed in with my dear friends 'eager' for an off the beaten path visit of Paris.  Wait 2 hours finally report in to a very nice officer who is very helpful.  Leave with important documents.  Stress/fatigue eat at dinner.  Go home still naively hoping the passport is still hiding somewhere, look through everything again.  Go to sleep and decide to chance it at the train station the next morning, understand that probably won't work and I'll have to stick it out with the embassy, friends loan me some euros 'cause you've gotta have friends'.  

Boarder control

They control the boarders

Get to check in desk and explain my situation angry passive agressive Parisians yell at me for holding up the line, seems like I might be able to get through!  Tell friends to go on without me, stretch my arm out in a dramatic flare. Wait some more, more paperwork, transferred between French and British people.  Given clear instructions, told I can exchange my ticket but I need to go to the embassy and fight it out for a passport.  Immediately run for my metro line I'm running late for the lost passport timeframe in the morning before appointments at the embassy.  Line 4 is closed...  Take two different lines, run down street for 5 mins, turn around and run down street in the right direction (darn you google maps stop flipping the map!), arrive at the embassy security check.  Go through security, am asked to drink the water in my bottle because they think it's lethal I tell them it's Parisian city water it is lethal then I take a swig.  Get a half a laugh.  Get inside a bulletproof door, wait in line.  Fill out paperwork talk with a lady get a number.  Go to another room sit down wait some more talk to one Debbie downer am scared out of getting a temporary passport but still want to meet up in London because come on.  Am told my photo is too low quality am given a map (my phone is with security) to get more passport photos, stare in disbelief, mind you I have just enough euros to get me by.  Leave embassy shrug at security guys.  

Walk in the rain beside lines of Asian tourists waiting to get into Hermes. Get a dazed and confused wet hair photo, walk back, go through security again they throw my water bottle in the trash.  Get inside walk up to my booth, my Debbie downer is gone.  Wait.  He's back am told to go pay.  Sit wait.  Go pay.  Sit wait.  Called up to final booth.  He scares me again. You will never make it to London little girl and your little dog too!  They will turn you away and even if you make it through France will turn you away...and your visa will be invalid and you will be kicked out of the country...  Ok ok ok ok fine I'll just start the process for my permanent passport and go back to Agen...  Stamp stamp stamp.  Great here's a map, just go to the nearest post office and fill out this chronology and bring it back to us and your passport should arrive in 2 weeks.  Wait wait wait but I can do that anyway after I've used my temporary passport for no extra charge!  Yes but...  No you've changed my decision I'm going to chance it I want the temporary passport.  Fine, it will be ready in 20 mins.  Wait.  Here's your passport, handed dinky little passport with a ribbon of paper marked check with the appropriate consulate for your country of travel this passport is not excepted into all countries.   

And so it was I shook the dust from my feet and fled. I had a little explaining to do at border control but really no problems after that except not having my credit cards, thanks again friends!  It's still a work in progress so I'll keep you updated but this experience taught me a lot.  First be assertive and don't give up, second how stupid are passports anyway, it's just a piece of paper, you are basically branded with a number and if you can pay enough and were born in the right place you get into the country of your choice, third no matter how stressful this situation is I was able to work my way out of it but so many other people are in situations that are so much more horrible than mine everyday and i think about how that must feel everyday and how that must hurt.  Keep your chins up everyone

Emily

The realization

 Paris

How I feel

How I react when I see a camera

 Police tourism

Never so happy to see these two